Edstuck
by SomeOriginalName
Summary: The Culdesac kids play Sburb and accidently the entire planet.  What will they do to survive this lethal game?  And who are those annoying trolls?


**I gotta admit. I read Homestuck. And I got hooked. So I decided to make this out. The cul de sac kids get put in Skaia in an attempt to ****save the world**** (too late****) discover themselves****(now that's just stupid) fight a bunch of enemies and have a kickass adventure. San no Densetsu is on hiatus as…I ran through the story and found that it sucked. Gonna have to go back to the drawing board.**

**Act I: Part 1**

He was a young adult, middle school student, and ready for summer break. His spiky hair, once smoothed over for some stupid occasion, returned to its usual self, with three prominent spikes jutting outwards. He wore the same cloths he always wore, yellow polo shirt and jeans, and still sported the same chain running along the pockets. He takes a quick glance around his room. What's his name again?

== King Dork

No no no! He shakes his head. Why the heck would that be the name of anyone? That's just stupid.

==Eddy Sampson

Yeah that sounds better. Eddy pauses for a second. Why was he thinking all that in the first place.

== Retrieve arms from

"Already got them stupid." he says to no one in particular as he waves his arms around. Then he proceeds to slap his forehead. " I'm going crazy." He shakes his head and sits by his computer. He and all the other kids from the Cul de sac were into this new fad about some computer game. Something he never heard before. It was supposed to be real big, and it was currently in open beta. Everyone who was anyone was downloading it to play. And Eddy was certainly someone. The only drawback was there had to be a client player and a host player. It all seemed odd, but he figured he'd pick it up as the game played. He heard a ping and turned back to his computer, and saw one of his friends was on chat. It was probably about the game and he couldn't wait to get started.

limitlessKnowledge [LK] began pestering deepPockets [DP] at 15:12

LK: Eddy, are you there?

LK: Eddy?

LK: Where is everyone?

DP: I'm right here jeez. What'$ got you $o uptight?

LK: Eddy, why are you using those?

DP: What thos$e are you talking about?

LK: The '$' sign. Why?

DP: $o you know it'$ me using thi$ account and not $ome jerk trying to $ully my rep. Ed know$ about thi$ already, heck everyone already know$, why not you?

LK: No reason, it just feels odd trying to read that. Anyway, how's your download progressing?

Eddy tabbed out of the chatbox to check his download. Almost 90%! The wait was becoming excruciating!

DP: ()!()!()!

LK:?

DP: I mean 90! 90! 90!

LK:!

DP: What'$ wrong?

LK: I'm still at 50%!

DP: $eriously? Well then look$ like I gotta play with $omeone el$e. Maybe Nazz? :)

LK: Kevin already tried that. She's barely at 45%, Kevin is at 67.

DP: Oh wow. Am I like the only one who$se thi$ clo$e to done?

LK: Seems to be.

DP: Aww man! Why doe$ everybody'$ internet but mine have to $uck?

LK: You know if you really can't wait, I heard someone set up this matchmaking site, for players who have the game but no one to play it with.

DP: $ound$ creepy. I'll do it! :D

LK: Let me give you the link.

==Be the other guy

The boy with the tag limitlessKnowledge tabbed out of his chatbox and searched his browser's favorites for the site with the program. It was hot, even for so late in the day, and he was down to his traditional red shirt, and shorts, though he still wore his black hat. Maybe that was why he felt so grouchy. Which might also explain the itching feeling he felt in the back of his head.

==Stupid Sockhead

STOP WITH THIS INANE IMMATURITY! Really now, normally he's used to these insults even from his friends, but not right now. The broken air conditioner was bad enough, he did not want to have to cope with the insults of his heat stroked brain!

== Eddward Vincent

That was better. He did not want to have to deal with the childish pranks of his obviously delusional mind and his friends' indecipherable text. He continued to search for the site when he received another ping. It was from the third Ed of the group. Edd sighed as he knew of his slow friend's penchant for misspelling nearly everything.

spaceOutlaw [SO] began pestering limitlessKnowledge [LK] at 15:25

SO: HI DUBLE DEE!

LK: sigh…hello, what brings you back?

SO: Bak? Ware did I guoh?

LK: Nevermind…How far is your game?

SO: My gaem? OH! Yah let mi go luk at it. . It sez 5 and 0 and the thing wit the too sercles and a line.

LK: Did you just type out what you were saying? And don't you mean 50%?

SO: I did?

LK: l-P

SO: OH KOOL! SHO ME HOW TO MEK THAT!

LK: Maybe later Ed, I'm trying to show Eddy that site I was talking about, he's almost done downloading.  
>SO: Awwwwwww! ):-(<p>

SO: Sum peepl have al the luk.

LK: Or maybe a faster connection to the host server.

SO: Wut?

LK: Nevermind. Look I need to go Ed, I'll talk later okay?

SO: Okey dokey bukaru!

spaceOutlaw[SO] stopped pestering limitlessKnowledge [LK] at 15:28

Edd sighed. Loveable as he was, his reproachful typing habits really grated his obsessive compulsive nerves. Ah there it was. Edd copied the URL and pasted it in Eddy's chatbox

LK: There you go Eddy. Don't have too much fun without us.

DP: No promises! ;)

LK: Don't you mean 'no promi$e$!'?

DP:…shut up.

deepPockets [DP] stopped pestering limitlesKnowledge [LK] at 15:31

== Be that third Ed

He is Ed. Ed something. What was his last name? He forgets.

== Ed Hill

After checking the back of his under, Ed confirmed his last name. Joyful at this revelation he decides to celebrate by reading playing with his fire breathing toy. He grabs the hours of joy and burning toy, and it disappears. Ed is confused for a second then remembers it must have been captchalogued as toykind in his Strife Specibus.

Yes that made perfect sense. Even though he had no idea what he just said. He decided to will the toy back into his hand, and the toy materialized right where he expected it to…in his other hand. What's this? Ed turned around, and in his imagination realized he was being threatened! The pile of dirt laundry was menacing him! He had to do something quick!

**STRIFE!**

Ed got into combat position and waited for the pile of laundry to make its move. The dirty laundry used NOISOMENESS but Ed blocked the stench with ABJURE. The noxious smell had no effect on Ed. Ed returned fire with AGGRIEVE and launched a fireball using his toy. The attack was semi effective, as the dampness of the clothing ensured a very short lived flame. Ed could see this was a stalemate and decided to ABSTAIN! Ed escaped the battle, panting as he did not have the sense to remove the heavy green jacket despite the summer heat. He glared daggers at the pile of laundry. There would come a time. Oh yes there would come a time. But not now, he was hungry. Ed placed the toy back in his strife specibus and ran upstairs to find a snack.

_**SOMEWHERE FAR AWAY…ACTUALLY NOT VERY FAR AT ALL**_

Bored. Bored. Bored bored bored bored bored bored. He was bored. He felt like he ate a whole boredom cake and overstuffed himself on bored soda. He was so bored, being bored was boring. It felt like he was the only one in his town that actually played games, and after getting this new one, he was sure someone would be able to play with him. So far nothing. Not even the matchmaking site could find a proper client. This kid had waited seven long hours for the game to install, he was gonna get his fill. If his name wasn't

== Asinine Assha

Will you stop that? He waved his arms around as he felt the sheer boredom start messing with his sanity.

== Deagon Wimbly

Yeah. That's more like it. Deagon looks back at his laptop. Tabbing one of his three running games, he checks the matchmaker and to his delight, it lists someone named deepPockets. He's close enough so that your connection with him won't lag too much. Deagon can barely suppress a smile as he clicks the "Connect" button. The moment he does, his other games crash. That was odd. For a computer with a dual quad core, it should have been able to handle five games at a time without even slowing. For the game to require the power of all the cores, it must be good. It better.

He was greeted with a loading screen. 10% 20% 45% 76% 99% 100%, followed by a green house built with four squares. Below the picture was the game's title 'Sburb'.


End file.
